Looking back at the time of occurrence a year ago, there are things I wish I could change or alter in any way, because my decisions appear to be so seemingly foolish. In a way though, I believe this is a way I know I've grown, perhaps even matured, (also manage to transform into a complete Sex Goddess :D) and not repeat similar mistakes. Although, considering they didn't seem like mistakes I could make back then, what difference does it make this time? It's like a cycle, you see, you make a decision, you regret, you vow to change, you make another decision and then you realise that it's the same damn mistake done in a different manner, 365 days later.
It was a couple of weeks ago I presume, or maybe a few days ago, I'm not too sure, but it was the first I've ever felt like I had to make a decision. To sacrifice one for the other, to decide what was best for me. Throughout the years, it'd always been either "Yes, Mother." or "No, Mother." I could either abide with whatever my Mother has decided for me, or choose to rebel. I was 16, so take a guess which option I favoured most of the time.
That fine day, I was finally, for once, juggling the pros and cons between both choices. Nothing too major (oh my god, the Vicky B disease!) if my memory allows me to remember, probably choosing between Restaurant #1 or Restaurant #2, but nonetheless, finally a gun shot. I suddenly feel all grown up. Not in a way that I would proclaim myself as a know-it-all and that I don't need anyone to teach me anything anymore (because I believe we learn at every age) but in a way that I'm just .. not that 16 year old girl anymore.
A perfect way to begin the year with. You know, with a sigh of relief and a smile spread over your face. Whew, what a year :)
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